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How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

Last Updated: 16.06.2025 13:07

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

This is a real question: Why do a lot of men/boys hate (yes, hate) women that voice their criteria in choosing a partner? Even when the criteria is sane and responsible. Besides it being, sadly, an effective mating strategy, why does it exist?

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

By taking turns talking.

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.

Why do nice guys rarely or never win?

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.